*Note: I debated writing this because, although it seems that the life I portray on social media is spontaneous and unscripted, it is quite the opposite. I’m very much in constant control of what I post and share, but being that I advocate for companies and individuals to be authentic, honest and open in the space I felt it right to share the hard things here and not just the good. But then again, the hard things are usually the good things. 😉

I knew the day would eventually come when I would be laid off from a job. I knew I had to be prepared – so when I heard a week ago that the company lost its largest account, I was momentarily shocked and then in super-charged “damage control” mode. Self-preservation, defensiveness, separation and an overwhelming sense of protecting myself – mentally, emotionally, financially, professionally – were all emotions running high for a week as I waited, anxiously and with a lot of alcohol to assist with sleeping, for the “decision.”

I didn’t say much of anything when it happened – it’s really just business. I was asked several times if I had any questions, but I had none for them, only questions for myself. What am I going to do? Will I be ok? What does this mean for me? And, the most important one of all – “What do I really want to do?” Knowing that I could ask myself a question like that and thoughtfully consider it let me know that these events were unfolding exactly the way they were supposed to. We are trained to feel nervous, stressed, embarrassed, scared and disappointed, but what if we really don’t have to? What if the emotion that I was able and fortunate enough to recognize of knowing that things will work out is all I really need to feel?

I’m not saying I didn’t feel all those other emotions. It’s an unfortunate part of what society projects on you as it defines the things you “need” and “want.” But knowing that something was ending that really wasn’t working out is not a bad thing. Of course, I’d rather have control and do it on my terms, but in the words of someone very, very wise: “You make a plan. Something changes. You have to make a new plan.”  A changing plan does not indicate failure, not in any way. But I feel this is the piece that most people miss when they are dealing with their emotions around these types of situations.

And the situation is still difficult, no matter how prepared you are. I wanted to pack up my things and run out of there as fast as possible – and I think this is the normal reaction. But I held it together and reminded myself that there is a company, a business and a job and then there is what really matters: the people. So I let myself have a little laugh and just talked to people. People I’ve come to know, respect and love. It was the right thing to do and it was actually the best thing to do (funny how those two go together, isn’t it?). I’m often told that I am very mature for my age and am regularly assumed to be much older, but I don’t think of myself as older. However, pulling myself together to leave as myself and not some reaction to an unfortunate situation made me feel far older and wiser than my 26 years.

There is a quote that I particularly love in my current state of reflection: “Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.” – George S. Patton

In June of 2008, I quit my full-time job as an accounting manager at a small company in Northeast Ohio to move to Atlanta with my cousin, who had a job lined up. I had never been here before, I had no job set up and little savings. I have amazing parents who supported my decision to get out of an economically dying part of the country and they are a huge part of how I was able to make the move. I had a job offer within 3 weeks – in digital marketing at a small software company. That’s quite a change and I am so happy, every day, that I went with it. I learned a lot at that job about this field and I did finally discover something I love to do.

While the first job here was a great experience, I still had to build a life in this new place. I joined AiMA and was shocked at the first meeting by how clique-ish it was. But I kept going to that and other events, forcing myself to meet people and try new things, until now I have over 500 connections on LinkedIn, amazing friends to spend time with and an overall fabulous life. Most days, when I think about it, I can hardly believe it. But I’ve done it – I came here with nothing, knowing no one and now, I have emails, texts and calls flooding in from people who love me, care about me, and genuinely want to help me find the next thing that is right for me.

I sometimes feel very alone – I have no family down here – but times like these remind me that I am nowhere near alone. I couldn’t be alone if I tried. I leave my house and randomly see people I know all the time. I’ve only been here for THREE years – that’s crazy, y’all!

I have no idea what is going to happen next but I do know that I will be just fine and that I will find the right thing – or, as is so often the case in my life – the right thing will find me. In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy what one lovely friend considers to be  the “best time of the year to have some time off” (to which I can only wholeheartedly agree) and do some job hunting, soul searching and a bit of napping by the pool and, in 2 weeks, by the ocean.

It’s a big world and a short life. Luckily for me, I already know this and I’m just getting started. 🙂