I grew up with phrases like “diamonds are a girl’s best friend” and “a diamond is forever” on TV, the radio, in magazines…pretty much everywhere. It was ingrained in me (and people everywhere) that a diamond ring is a requirement for entering into an engagement. I never gave it much thought until I started working in a jewelry store.
I learned about all types of natural and lab-created stones, and realized that many of these are more beautiful than the diamonds. Often, the diamonds were small with poor color and clarity – but with a hefty price tag. Stones like white sapphire, white topaz and moissanite often had more sparkle and shine, at a fraction of the price of a diamond. But, as just about everyone will tell you, a diamond is an investment.
As time went on and I moved to other jobs, the things I learned about stones stayed with me. I read an article awhile back from the Atlantic on the diamond industry and suddenly everything clicked. I knew I wasn’t going to get a diamond – and I tell you why in this article, as well as why moissanite was an obvious choice for us. It’s important to understand where your hard-earned dollars go.The diamond industry has created, through extremely creative advertising over decades and total control over supply, a feverish desire for these rocks amongst couples looking to commit.
Here are 11 reasons why we decided to skip the diamond:
- De Beers runs a cartel. They control the supply of diamonds and the distribution – and they will retaliate strongly against any who try to enter this market. There is no competition so it is completely the opposite of any kind of free-market situation
- Prices are kept artificially high. Because De Beers controls the majority of supply, they can control the price. They have purposefully kept diamonds from flooding the market so that prices can remain high. This also keeps competitors from entering because De Beers can always threaten to release more diamonds and drive prices down across the board, effectively shutting down a smaller player
- Diamonds don’t retain their value. Have you ever tried to sell one? This is largely due to the fact that diamonds aren’t actually rare – that’s De Beers controlling the supply. Very effective marketing creates that sentimental value to ensure people don’t resell their stones – if people started selling their diamonds en masse, diamond prices would collapse from the flood of supply
- “Conflict-free” diamonds don’t exist naturally. Sorry, folks – you’ve been duped by advertising on this one. The reality is that all mined stones cause some kind of conflict – whether it’s human or environmental. Oh, and those “conflict-free” diamonds cost even more. The only “conflict-free” stones on the market are lab-created stones – and even then, scrutiny should apply
- The diamond/mining industries facilitate and support a violent trade environment. Diamonds have funded wars in Africa and contributed to the killing and maiming of people for decades. Mining strips the land of natural resources and leaves local habitats and communities ruined
- Moissanites are made in a laboratory. As a result, they are conflict-free and are subject to quality controls for uniformity in the product
Moissanites have many of the same attributes of diamonds, such as hardness (moissanite is second only to a diamond) and in some cases have better ones such as with fire and brilliance- Moissanite stones are nearly flawless. Because they are made in a lab, they can be created with the same attributes and mistakes can be discarded. I worked in a jewelry store so I know a lot about the quality of diamonds – and that most of them are not very high quality
- Moissanites cost a fraction of the price. To buy a one-carat, nearly flawless moissanite stone costs less than $300. A recent quote I had on a one-carat diamond stone was $6,500 – and it was NOT as flawless as the moissanite
- Charles and Colvard, the company that creates moisannites, is an American company based in North Carolina. If you’re into supporting local/regional/national businesses, this makes for an excellent choice. Even better if you then work with a local jeweler
- Because we care. We care about what we buy, how it’s made, where it’s made, where it comes from, what it costs (to me, to the environment, to other people). I refused to have any diamonds in my ring – none in the setting or as side stones. This meant we needed a custom design – which was wonderful because it’s unique to us and we built a relationship with a local jeweler, Worthmore Jewelers. The cost savings also enabled us to upgrade from gold to platinum. And best of all – we have no debt from this ring!
I wish I could say truthfully that moissanite isn’t for everyone, but there is a huge part of me that feels that’s a cop-out. Most people don’t KNOW about this stone and/or about the horrible diamond industry and cartel. I’ve shared this information with some close friends and family and they have ALL purchased alternatives to diamonds. I truly believe that this is a superior product to diamonds in every way and encourage everyone to purchase only lab-created stones of any kind. Just as there is no such thing as “clean coal” there are no “conflict-free” mined stones. Don’t be fooled by a shady industry and decades of creative and false advertising.
Moissanite used to be found in major jewelry retailers so you could see the stones and compare to diamonds, but in recent years that has ceased. I have no evidence to support this, but my hypothesis is that the diamond cartel would likely be exerting pressure here. It’s not easy to purchase something with such sentimental value online without ever having seen it in person. However, if you can go into a store and NOT tell the difference between between a diamond and a white sapphire or white topaz, moissanite would definitely work for you!
Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you have more questions about diamond alternatives in general or moissanites specifically. I’m happy to share more details about our process and moissanites vs. diamonds if you need the information.
Great post!!
Thanks, Wendy!!
This was very Enlighting. Thank you
You’re very welcome. Thanks for reading!
Very informative post! I’ve even shared it with my spouse! Thank you for this 🙂
Beautiful ring! Thanks for sharing:)
Thanks, Barb! Can’t to see you later this month!
So glad you posted this, your ring is beautiful and I wish you both the very best in your life together! For all of the reasons you’ve posted, I’m definitely going that route when we purchase our rings.
Thanks!! Glad I was so convincing! 🙂
Nice write up Tory! Congrats on your engagement
Thank you, Muinat!
Victoria. Thanks for the thought provoking and compelling post. The name cubiczirconia was always off putting. It was synonymous with cheap. I want to know more about your ring. I love the way my wife’s diamond looks but I hate the industry and all the copious bullshit that goes with it. I look forward to learning more.
Hi Todd,
Thanks! I love my ring. Here’s the thing with moissanites – it’s not “cheap” – you don’t necessarily get them to save money, the way you might with a CZ. It’s just that your money goes further with a moissanite (and isn’t tainted with the crap from the diamond industry).
Sizes are done by millimeter, with a 1 carat stone (6.5 mm) costing anywhere from $300 to $500. (http://moissaniteco.com/).
I was initially looking online for my ring and was going to get a bridal set (engagement ring and wedding band) and settings with 1.5 to 2 carat center stones and stones in the bands were running $1500 to $3000. That’s a HUGE cost difference from diamonds and from everything I’ve read online in forums, the stones last. CZs lose their brilliance and get dull.
My ring has so much sparkle, and everyone who’s seen it loves it – no one can tell it’s not a diamond, except I tell them because I’m on a mission. Moissanites are second in hardness ONLY to diamond, and moissanites do have more fire and brilliance than diamonds.
I also think white topaz and white sapphire are great choices. These can also be lab created, cost in the low to mid hundreds of dollars for a carat, and have nice sparkle.
Ultimately, the setting is what truly makes a ring unique and in my case, Sean and I fell in love with a setting – so we went custom versus ordering directly online. He talked with a few local jewelers before he settled on one he wanted to work with – some jewelers don’t really want to work with diamond alternatives and won’t take diamonds out of an existing setting.
The jeweler ordered the moissanites from Charles and Colvard, but there are other sites, such as the one I linked to above, where you can purchase the stones. I have a three-stone ring with smaller stones in the band (nine on each side). Sean had a great experience with the jeweler and we’re so happy with our decision.
My brother and his girlfriend also decided on a moissanite and went with an existing setting. They only replaced the center stone – the diamonds in the setting remain – and I think this is a common route.
I would be happy to show you my ring in person some time and even bring along a diamond ring I have for comparison. I hope this helps – let me know if you have any more questions.
Great info Victoria 🙂 Thank you x
Thanks, Bouchra!
Hi! Thanks so much for the informative article. How many carats is your center stone? I really want a moisannite but am just a little weary that it might look too “flashy” or “gaudy” like a disco ball, as moisannites tend to have more sparkle. Also, if i want tiny diamonds around the band, should i keep those as diamonds? The jeweler told me that the price of those small stones are the same for diamonds and moissanites. Thank you so much in advance!!
Thank you, Lisa – glad you find it helpful! My center stone is 1 carat – not gaudy looking at all. My band is thin – maybe 2.5 mm. I agree that purchasing a moissanite can be worrisome – many of the photos online are of huge stones. There is certainly an audience for that, but know that moissanites come in all sizes and so you can certainly get one to fit a setting you find in a traditional jewelry store.
My brother and his girlfriend recently got engaged and they purchased a ring that had tiny diamonds in the band, but they used a moissanite for the center stone instead of the diamond. I think it was a very economical choice for them. I belive it probably ends up being the same price to just have the small diamonds in the band if they come like that because it would be labor-intensive to remove them all and replace with moisannites. I think this would consume any amount of savings.
However, I went with a custom option so that I could have all moissanites, including in the band.
It’s so wonderful that you are considering diamond alternatives. Please let me know if I can answer any other questions for you. Best of luck! -Victoria
Great post! My engagement ring and wedding band have beautiful sapphires, and I love it. My husband and I agreed long before we got engaged that we didn’t feel right purchasing a diamond, and we can’t afford Tiffany’s, which is apparently the only ethical place to buy a diamond… And the Sapphire was his idea! Glad I’m not alone out there… All my friends have diamond rings!
Thank you, Laura! It’s also good to know I’m not alone. Some of my friends have gone with alternatives since we’ve discussed the issue at length, but many have diamonds as well. I think many wish they had known or considered alternatives, but the marketing machine for diamonds is very strong unfortunately. I’ll bet your ring is beautiful – I love sapphires.
I’m recently engaged and had to convince my fiancé to get me a moissanite (he thought diamonds were more sentimental). It’s a beautiful ring!! And it blows my knowing that we saved $5k over a diamond. There are so many things I can do with that kind of money!
I couldn’t agree more, Marie! Thanks for sharing your story and congrats on your engagement.
I rock a cushion cut 2 carat equivalent moissanite for every reason you cited above. I had a tricky time navigating owning a moissanite that is on the larger side at first. I’m a pretty simple girl, I just liked this shape, and the size looked right on my finger. When people were like “DAMN! He must LOVE you!” it made me SO uncomfortable thinking that they were equating diamond weight with amount of love, so I would be up front about it actually being a moissanite. No, it was not in fact a fourteen thousand dollar diamond (which is about what it would cost if it were a diamond), and yes, DAMN, he loves he, but my jewelry isn’t a measure of that…
I found that some people would instantly get a stink face, and no matter how happy I looked, or how much I gushed about loving my ring, it was still suddenly a question of “ew, it’s not REAL, he must NOT love you.” No one ever actually said this, but any sort of intuition would recognize it as implied by their facial expression and body language.
Defending our choice by explaining how I feel about DeBeers and “conflict free diamonds” always ends in me sounding judgemental and self righteous. Lots of uncomfortable conversations resulted, and all I wanted to do was love my ring, for exactly what it was, unapologetically.
I’ve learned to just nod, and let people make their assumptuions about the weight of me and my fiance’s love being measured in a 10+ thosand dollars gem sitting on my finger. He loves me even more than what their monitary assumptions add up to, so it’s fine.
Good on you. It just proves how generations of women have been raised to believe that if it isn’t a diamond it’s fake. The media have reiterated this by referring to other stones as fakes. A moissanite is not a fake diamond, it’s a moissanite, just like a Toyota is not a fake Porsche, it’s a Toyota. People are so annoying. IMO you are smarter than the millions of women out there gushing about their “real” diamonds, meanwhile they are probably in debt.
I completely agree! I know many people who applaud this kind of thinking and action, but I try to not even tell the ones who wouldn’t get it. And there are many of those, too. We made the mistake a few times of telling relatives and they were like “why would you ever tell anyone it wasn’t REAL?” And I just felt so exasperated, frustrated and bad for them for being so brainwashed by that industry. It IS a real stone and a very nice one. We’ll take the money we saved and have a 3-week honeymoon in Southeast Asia or some other exotic destination. Sheesh.
Great informative post. I lost my diamond ring and am looking at different options to replace it. The more I read about diamonds the more I see that clever marketing has brainwashed people that anything less than diamonds is “cheap” Everyone has fallen for it (including me), because it is the “thing to do”. Well I am getting smart and seriously looking at a moissanite, the only thing I have read is that they can display a greenish hue in natural light. Have you found this to be true?
Thanks for your comments, Annette. I think that the regular moissanites may have a very slight greenish/bluish hue in natural light, but I have a Forever Brilliant moissanite and I don’t really notice that. There is another type called Amura or Amora I believe that also is even more “white” like a more traditional diamond look.
Up until yesterday I was still a little apprehensive about moissanite as I hadn’t seen one in person and there a lot of conflicting opinions on forums. I live in New Zealand and they are practically unheard of here but I did manage to track down a jeweller an hour from where I live who is the NZ distributor and they had a Forever Brilliant set in solitaire e-ring.. so I travelled to see it (two hours in the car, talk about commitment!)… well, I was so impressed – absolutely beautiful and not a hint of any warmth or yellow that I have read reports about – it was a rainy day too and I took it outside and also into dull places and it still looked fabulous. That clinched it for me and I am now totally convinced so today I have finalised the design of my anniversary ring with my jeweller – 1.5c oval FB moissanite with a halo of 0.06’s which are also FB’s. It will take a few weeks and I can’t wait to get. I really do think moissanites are the best kept secret in the jewellery world. The only way I heard of them was stumbling upon them after doing lots of googling of ring designs. Why pay 20K when you can get basically the same thing for 3K. Even if I won the lottery I wouldn’t spend that ridiculous amount of money on diamonds.
So glad you got to see them in-person and make the decision to get them! It’s amazing – once I show them to people, they almost always want to go with these over a diamond. Thanks for sharing your story!
I just bought a pair of Forever Brilliant Moissanite earrings from moissanite.com and I can’t wait to get them. I agree that a lot of people are clueless about the stone because they’re constantly comparing it to the diamond but their ignorance is our gain. Less demand. 🙂
Haha, good point Annie! 🙂
I am getting a pair of earrings too. I think I might become addicted! If I love them when they are made I might get a moiss pendant as well. Wish I could spread the word without the pitiful looks of “oh she’s got fakes” which I know would happen unfortunately. Wish the celebs would start buying moissanites to break down the stigma that if you don’t buy diamonds you must be poor. Sigh..
Yes, people are still so duped by the advertising of diamonds. It’s too bad.
Victoria,
Thanks for the shout out to Worthmore Jewelers in your great article. We love doing one of a kind custom designs, and working in and with all materials. We even work in reclaimed metals and the ultimate in green, vintage estate jewelry! Stop in soon so we can clean and inspect your ring for you.
Best,
Harris
Thanks, Harris! I will definitely stop by for a ring cleaning soon. 🙂
Thank you so much for this wonderful article on Moissanite! I first heard of Moissanite in September of 2012 when I was asked to join a new direct sales company owned by Charles & Colvard called Lulu Avenue. I told the person on the phone “Why in the world would I want to join yet another jewelry company? There are so many of them! What do you have that is different from any other jewelry company?” The answer was simply, “We have Moissanite”. “What the heck is Moissanite?” I said. When I heard the answer I was SOLD! That I could sell! I had never owned a diamond, and am not a woman that wears a lot of jewelry but I LOVE my Moissanite! It has not been an easy journey as very few people have heard of this beautiful gemstone but I have loved every minute that I get to talk to people about the diamond industry and Moissanite. Thank You for your informative article! I am going to share it on my Facebook page.
Thank you for the nice comment, Deb! I am so, so happy with my moissanite stones. Another friend of mine recently got engaged and they chose moissanite as well – a stunning oval in halo setting with rose gold. Let’s keep spreading the word! 🙂
I too, have joined this newer direct sales company, Lulu Avenue, and have fallen in love with Moissanite! Thank you for the article on Moissanite. This just reaffirms how wonderful this gemstone really is! Thank you!
You’re welcome, Jennifer!
Love this article! Some people were giving me crap about getting a moissanite instead of a diamond. I’ll make sure to forward this article to those haters.
Hello Victoria, thank you for this lovely article and breakdown of the diamond industry and of moissanite.
I’m contemplating of getting my lady a 2.20 carat Forever brilliant moissanite ring. However, since I have never seen one before I’m worried if the ring will look fake at that size.
Hi James,
The way the size of a stone looks is largely dependent on the setting. A 2.20 carat ring may look a bit gawdy as a solitaire (but this is a personal preference). However, a friend of mine has a beautiful 2.25 carat oval moissanite in a halo setting and it is stunning. Very tasteful and unique. 2.20 carat – while larger than the norm – is not a huge stone so I don’t think you have to worry about it looking fake. Setting is key. 🙂 Hope this helps!
I’m so back and forth I wanted to go with a diamond but for the size and clarity I want it’s just not the best thing money wise right now so I wanted to look into alternatives I came across your article about moissanite and out of the hundreds of other websites and blogs and reviews I read yours made me feel good about my almost (lol) making my decison but there is still this lingering feeling I have that I don’t want it to look totally fake and look like a cz. I guess I’m wanting to read a review that tells me 100% it looks like a diamond but I feel like what I have read says moissanite looks better than a diamond…. I’m also Leary of purchasing through these websites such moissaniteco.com I have read a lot of reviews that customers don’t recieve anything like the picture and its jagged and chipped and is yellow and or green and fogs after a few weeks of wear. It’s hard to make a decision with out looking at it in person, I have never seen a moissanite before.
Hey Erin!
Thanks so much for your comment and I’m glad you found the article helpful!
I have ordered from Moissanite Co. AND I have worked with a jeweler. Without a doubt, the piece from the jeweler is better quality. That said, it was MUCH more expensive. The piece I ordered from the site is still a GREAT piece, it’s just not a custom-made special order from a local jewelry store. Also, jewelers tend to order their moissanites from Charles and Colvard directly, so there is some consistency/reputation there to put you at ease.
I do believe my moissanite looks better than a diamond – especially compared to what I would get in a diamond at the same price point. It does not look yellowish or blueish to me – it just has more fire so when it sparkles, it shows more colors. This gives it a slightly different look, but if anything, strangers think it’s a super-high quality diamond. I also have the Forever Brilliant line as my main stone, which supposedly eliminates any of the yellow or blue hues people describe. After a year and a half, my stone is as sparkly as ever and I clean it about once a week with regular jewelry cleaner. I cannot say the same for any of my CZ or topaz stones – they have definitely lost some of their sparkle.
Maybe try a jeweler and see if they have any moissanites you can see. Or, maybe order a more regular piece, like small stud earrings, to see the stones – you might even be able to return them based on the return policy. 😉
Best of luck to you!!
If your ever in Dunedin-do look me up..I have many moissanites in various shades I can show you
deb 🙂
I would never buy another diamond.. My son and dil bought me two moissanite necklaces for gifts.. I love them and you cant tell it is not diamonds.. I worked in jewlery 25 years and these are so much prettier than diamonds .
Hi there,
I am a New Zealand jeweller who has been using Moissanite for over 5 years now-yes,you heard right..At least 5 years!
I guess because I am not ‘mainstream(and boring) many may not have heard of me before.
I also have worn one for nearly 8 years-so I truly adore the stuff.
I can honestly say -I probably have used it longer than any other jeweller in NZ
I work in both diamonds and moissanite-but even as a jeweller the diamond industry makes me squirm-uncomfortably!
Now I am going to do a totally shameless plug on my work-but it is truly beautiful work.
http://www.debrafallowfield.com
or facebook.com/DFJeweller
You are right. Moissanite rocks my wife favorite ring is moissanite she doesn’t want anything else it’s very wearable and as pleasurable as diamonds and more cost effective
Hello, I am not sure if you still check this, but I have a question if you do. How can you make sure you get one that isn’t yellow? My jeweler had 2 brought it, one was forever brilliant, and they were both noticably yellow. I would still like to go this route, but I need one that does not show yellow, as the other stones in my ring are nearly colorless. Thanks for any advice.
Hi Elizabeth,
Thanks for your comment. Yes, I still check this as I’m still getting comments and questions like yours!
I don’t think of my stone as ever being yellow, but my husband commented on it looking a little yellow in hue ONCE in the two years I’ve had it. I can’t recall what type of light it was (natural, etc.) but it does have more fire than a diamond, so even though I think it’s colorless it would still sparkle with more colors than a diamond. This isn’t a problem if the diamonds are small in a band, but if it was a three stone with one moissanite paired with diamonds of a similar size, you would probably notice some differences. Everyone’s eyes are different – sounds like yours are very sharp and adjusted to subtle differences.
Moissanite has another stone called Amora or Amura I believe that is supposed to be even more clear than the Forever Brilliant. I think it’s a waitlist situation. You could check on that, though and see what it’s like. Good luck!